On the Lam in Nottingham: Legends Are Made on the High Stool

First of all I apologize for not putting this up sooner, but I've been really busy turning in essays and such. I do actually have to do schoolwork some of the time. Anyway I really wanted to do a stand up job on this blog to give Dublin its due. I will go on for quite a while about Ireland, but I'll try not to bore you.

Our trip to Ireland started insanely early, 2:00 am Thursday morning to be exact. We had to get a cab to city centre then get on an airporter bus to get to the airport for our 6:30 flight. On the bright side, we got into Dublin at 7:30 and were at our hostel by 8:45! Pretty much on arrival we sniffed out a map and made a beeline for the Guinness Storehouse. I think Jordan and I both, when asked to reveal the real reason we wanted to visit Ireland would both say that we went for the Guinness. We are both fans and felt we had to make our "pilgrimage" to the hallowed grounds, the hoppy of hoppies, the malty of malties, and the barley of barlies. Going to the site where Guinness has been brewed for the last 250 years was cool barley. I think of it like this, baseball fans go to Cooperstown, football fans to Canton, Mormons to Salt Lake, Muslims to Mecca, and beer bellies? Well, they go to St. James Gate. I almost wanted to pull a Moses when I walked in and take off my shoes when I saw the burning barley because it's hallowed ground! The tour was informative and had loads of stuff to look at and see about the Guinness history and process. Of course, to be honest, the highlight of the tour was at the top. The Gravity Bar sits atop the storehouse and overlooks the city of Dublin. It's also where the lucky pilgrims receive their blessing, their complimentary pint of Guinness. I'll never drink a pint of Guinness that travels a shorter distance, and that's too bad because it was the best pint I've ever had! Absolutely delicious. Proud of the rim and smoother than a Ray Allen jumpshot. It simply does not get any better. As you can see I could probably go on indefinitely. Suffice it too say, I think I speak for both Jordan and myself when I say, "In 1759 Arthur Guinness established his brewery and it was (is) good"

We also went to the Jameson Distillery on Friday afternoon, because we felt we ought not to ignore Dublin's other famous alcohol, Jameson Irish Whiskey. The tour was pretty quick, I slept through the little video they started with because I was so tired from the early start (I probably should have had another Guinness before I came....for strength of course). Anyway the tour was over in an hour. But then we came to the tasting. I made sure to shake off the doldrums for that! Jordan volunteered us to be part of the special group of people who got to compare Jameson's with some Scotch Whisky and Jack Daniels. Jordan and I were the only people who picked the Scotch as our favorite. It was excellent, while the Jameson's was very smooth and clean, it didn't have the full body that seasoned (one weekend of experience) whisky drinkers like Jordan and I have come to expect. All in all though it was great to get to taste two more whiskies on top of our Jameson. Good fun, no Guinness but still good. After this we went back to the hostel and napped.

Thursday evening was one good night. We walked around and checked out some pubs before settling on one near our hostel called The Celt. Best decision we made in Dublin. We had such a good time there we went back Friday night. I'll just describe both nights now. This was a traditional Irish pub, no ridiculous tourists and fake people. It was just full of good Irishmen, Guinness and "The Legend". The pub had traditional Celtic music and it was awesome, I was already a fan of Celtic music but hearing it live was even better. And the Guinness. The Guinness was very good too. But the best part of this pub was "The Legend". "The Legend" was this little Irishman who comes all the time and everyone knows him. He was about 5'6"-5'7" with a tan raincoat, cap, curly mustache and sideburns. Quintissential Irish. He made my trip to Ireland. If I didn't do anything else but meet this guy in the pub it still would have been worth it. He was dancing jigs, pretending to play the fiddle, talking to everyone, just having a great time. And all this time Jordan and I are wondering if he's crazy (He might be, we're still not sure). He starts winking at as, then he comes over and starts talking to us, patting us on the shoulders etc. (at one point he hugged me for over 15 seconds consecutively!) We can hardly understand him, but we are sure he's either crazier than a box of rocks or Einstein, I'm leaning toward Einstein (that is if Einstein winked a lot and was an alcoholic). Anyway he offers us a cigarette, so, in the name of cultural experience we felt we were obliged to accept. So we follow him out back to the smoking area and he proceeds to blow our minds! He was saying crazy stuff, introducing us to Irish people, I swear he knew every Dubliner in that pub, and all of them either called him a legend or a hero. The man had an aura, (maybe it was more of a five o'clock shadow and drunken stare) Ireland was oozing from every pore of his body. Such a great time. We talked to him both nights, he remembered us the second night which is evidence towards his genius. He said things like "I'm pro-yanks", "I love your country", "Let me tell you something, let me tell you something....this is not bullshit". As a typical Irishman he dropped a lot of F-bombs, which was fine with me, those are the easiest words to pick out of a heavy accent! I could elaborate but, it would be better to tell the tale of "The Legend" in person. We also met two Americans from Maine, who I like to refer to as "Sideshow Bob and the Whore Monger". Sideshow Bob because one of the guys looked just like Sideshow from the Simpsons. The other guy gets his name from his ridiculous story about how he goes to Amsterdam for the weed and the whores. These guys were definitely in their forties and druggies. The Whore Monger kept going on and on about taking shrooms and doing LSD, it actually got kind of annoying, but we humored him. They were both characters, but no legend. They were more like the greasy corn dogs you get at the fair, at the start you are like "this is so good" and by the end you feel like one of Mike Vick's dogs. That's how I felt by the end of our conversation. I was also kinda annoyed because Sideshow was being a real douchebag and arguing with "The Legend" about how he was pro-red sox not pro-yankees. I just wanted to punch his oily mug because obviously "The Legend" was not into baseball and Sideshow was stealing our precious time him. Anyway I digress. Bottom line, the pub scene was so fun. It really made for a great weekend.

Other things we did, Saturday we did a walking tour which was over 3 hours long and really fun. Our guide dropped some F-bombs which I felt really upped the "Irishness" level of the tour. Saying that the F-word is common in Ireland is like saying it rains there. And it doesn't rain, it pours! So the tour was really good. Learned a lot about the city and Irish history, which was beneficial for my trip to Kilmainham Gaol on Saturday. Kilmainham Gaol is a prison that was in operation from 1798 to 1924 I believe, so it has plenty of history. It held lots of the leaders of the Irish rebellion at various points in time and it has been featured in lots of movies. I really wanted to go because it's featured in the film "Michael Collins" which is about the Easter Rising and fight for Irish Independence. The Gaol was fun, the tour was interesting and I'm glad I went even though it was a good long walk out to that part of Dublin. After that I wandered around Dublin for awhile and then Jordan and I went back to the hostel to catch our shuttle to the airport to go home. Even the shuttle ride was interesting because our driver was a very talkative Irishman who basically explained that the reason the Irish drink so much is that the weather is so bad they have no choice but to go to the pub! They even have a saying in Ireland for bad weather days, they say, "it's a day for the dogs or the high stool!"

Well, I know this blog has been absurdly lengthy, for that I apologize, but I feel I have to explain how great Dublin was. The only bad thing I can say about Dublin is this, $$$. Really expensive. We payed about four and a half Euros a pint in every pub and we didn't even go to the trendy, spendy ones in the Temple Bar. Dublin puts a hurt on the ole' wallet but most people are so drunk they don't feel it I guess. I'd like to say more, if I missed anything really important I'll add it later. And one more thing, I forgot my camera this weekend, I know, I'm a freaking schmuck! But that's okay, Jordan brought his camera and took plenty of photos, which he was kind enough to share with me and allow me to post. So you can thank Jordan for the wonderful photos. If ya don't know, now ya know...