Legends Are Made on the High Stool

First of all I apologize for not putting this up sooner, but I've been really busy turning in essays and such. I do actually have to do schoolwork some of the time. Anyway I really wanted to do a stand up job on this blog to give Dublin its due. I will go on for quite a while about Ireland, but I'll try not to bore you.

Our trip to Ireland started insanely early, 2:00 am Thursday morning to be exact. We had to get a cab to city centre then get on an airporter bus to get to the airport for our 6:30 flight. On the bright side, we got into Dublin at 7:30 and were at our hostel by 8:45! Pretty much on arrival we sniffed out a map and made a beeline for the Guinness Storehouse. I think Jordan and I both, when asked to reveal the real reason we wanted to visit Ireland would both say that we went for the Guinness. We are both fans and felt we had to make our "pilgrimage" to the hallowed grounds, the hoppy of hoppies, the malty of malties, and the barley of barlies. Going to the site where Guinness has been brewed for the last 250 years was cool barley. I think of it like this, baseball fans go to Cooperstown, football fans to Canton, Mormons to Salt Lake, Muslims to Mecca, and beer bellies? Well, they go to St. James Gate. I almost wanted to pull a Moses when I walked in and take off my shoes when I saw the burning barley because it's hallowed ground! The tour was informative and had loads of stuff to look at and see about the Guinness history and process. Of course, to be honest, the highlight of the tour was at the top. The Gravity Bar sits atop the storehouse and overlooks the city of Dublin. It's also where the lucky pilgrims receive their blessing, their complimentary pint of Guinness. I'll never drink a pint of Guinness that travels a shorter distance, and that's too bad because it was the best pint I've ever had! Absolutely delicious. Proud of the rim and smoother than a Ray Allen jumpshot. It simply does not get any better. As you can see I could probably go on indefinitely. Suffice it too say, I think I speak for both Jordan and myself when I say, "In 1759 Arthur Guinness established his brewery and it was (is) good"

We also went to the Jameson Distillery on Friday afternoon, because we felt we ought not to ignore Dublin's other famous alcohol, Jameson Irish Whiskey. The tour was pretty quick, I slept through the little video they started with because I was so tired from the early start (I probably should have had another Guinness before I came....for strength of course). Anyway the tour was over in an hour. But then we came to the tasting. I made sure to shake off the doldrums for that! Jordan volunteered us to be part of the special group of people who got to compare Jameson's with some Scotch Whisky and Jack Daniels. Jordan and I were the only people who picked the Scotch as our favorite. It was excellent, while the Jameson's was very smooth and clean, it didn't have the full body that seasoned (one weekend of experience) whisky drinkers like Jordan and I have come to expect. All in all though it was great to get to taste two more whiskies on top of our Jameson. Good fun, no Guinness but still good. After this we went back to the hostel and napped.

Thursday evening was one good night. We walked around and checked out some pubs before settling on one near our hostel called The Celt. Best decision we made in Dublin. We had such a good time there we went back Friday night. I'll just describe both nights now. This was a traditional Irish pub, no ridiculous tourists and fake people. It was just full of good Irishmen, Guinness and "The Legend". The pub had traditional Celtic music and it was awesome, I was already a fan of Celtic music but hearing it live was even better. And the Guinness. The Guinness was very good too. But the best part of this pub was "The Legend". "The Legend" was this little Irishman who comes all the time and everyone knows him. He was about 5'6"-5'7" with a tan raincoat, cap, curly mustache and sideburns. Quintissential Irish. He made my trip to Ireland. If I didn't do anything else but meet this guy in the pub it still would have been worth it. He was dancing jigs, pretending to play the fiddle, talking to everyone, just having a great time. And all this time Jordan and I are wondering if he's crazy (He might be, we're still not sure). He starts winking at as, then he comes over and starts talking to us, patting us on the shoulders etc. (at one point he hugged me for over 15 seconds consecutively!) We can hardly understand him, but we are sure he's either crazier than a box of rocks or Einstein, I'm leaning toward Einstein (that is if Einstein winked a lot and was an alcoholic). Anyway he offers us a cigarette, so, in the name of cultural experience we felt we were obliged to accept. So we follow him out back to the smoking area and he proceeds to blow our minds! He was saying crazy stuff, introducing us to Irish people, I swear he knew every Dubliner in that pub, and all of them either called him a legend or a hero. The man had an aura, (maybe it was more of a five o'clock shadow and drunken stare) Ireland was oozing from every pore of his body. Such a great time. We talked to him both nights, he remembered us the second night which is evidence towards his genius. He said things like "I'm pro-yanks", "I love your country", "Let me tell you something, let me tell you something....this is not bullshit". As a typical Irishman he dropped a lot of F-bombs, which was fine with me, those are the easiest words to pick out of a heavy accent! I could elaborate but, it would be better to tell the tale of "The Legend" in person. We also met two Americans from Maine, who I like to refer to as "Sideshow Bob and the Whore Monger". Sideshow Bob because one of the guys looked just like Sideshow from the Simpsons. The other guy gets his name from his ridiculous story about how he goes to Amsterdam for the weed and the whores. These guys were definitely in their forties and druggies. The Whore Monger kept going on and on about taking shrooms and doing LSD, it actually got kind of annoying, but we humored him. They were both characters, but no legend. They were more like the greasy corn dogs you get at the fair, at the start you are like "this is so good" and by the end you feel like one of Mike Vick's dogs. That's how I felt by the end of our conversation. I was also kinda annoyed because Sideshow was being a real douchebag and arguing with "The Legend" about how he was pro-red sox not pro-yankees. I just wanted to punch his oily mug because obviously "The Legend" was not into baseball and Sideshow was stealing our precious time him. Anyway I digress. Bottom line, the pub scene was so fun. It really made for a great weekend.

Other things we did, Saturday we did a walking tour which was over 3 hours long and really fun. Our guide dropped some F-bombs which I felt really upped the "Irishness" level of the tour. Saying that the F-word is common in Ireland is like saying it rains there. And it doesn't rain, it pours! So the tour was really good. Learned a lot about the city and Irish history, which was beneficial for my trip to Kilmainham Gaol on Saturday. Kilmainham Gaol is a prison that was in operation from 1798 to 1924 I believe, so it has plenty of history. It held lots of the leaders of the Irish rebellion at various points in time and it has been featured in lots of movies. I really wanted to go because it's featured in the film "Michael Collins" which is about the Easter Rising and fight for Irish Independence. The Gaol was fun, the tour was interesting and I'm glad I went even though it was a good long walk out to that part of Dublin. After that I wandered around Dublin for awhile and then Jordan and I went back to the hostel to catch our shuttle to the airport to go home. Even the shuttle ride was interesting because our driver was a very talkative Irishman who basically explained that the reason the Irish drink so much is that the weather is so bad they have no choice but to go to the pub! They even have a saying in Ireland for bad weather days, they say, "it's a day for the dogs or the high stool!"

Well, I know this blog has been absurdly lengthy, for that I apologize, but I feel I have to explain how great Dublin was. The only bad thing I can say about Dublin is this, $$$. Really expensive. We payed about four and a half Euros a pint in every pub and we didn't even go to the trendy, spendy ones in the Temple Bar. Dublin puts a hurt on the ole' wallet but most people are so drunk they don't feel it I guess. I'd like to say more, if I missed anything really important I'll add it later. And one more thing, I forgot my camera this weekend, I know, I'm a freaking schmuck! But that's okay, Jordan brought his camera and took plenty of photos, which he was kind enough to share with me and allow me to post. So you can thank Jordan for the wonderful photos. If ya don't know, now ya know...


Getting to know a Goliathan statue...the luck of the Irish resides in the crotch according to our tour guide...I'm just tellin' ya what I heard.

This one is for my brother Steven...

My Goodness! My Guinness!

Probably the best picture ever...

Can't hardly wait...

Doctors actually used to prescribe Guinness...why can't my doctor be Irish?

Where every Irish dream begins...

Waiting Before These Crowded Streets

Jordan and I

I like to think I filled it out pretty well...

The Stain

Cardiff the capital of Wales made for a fun weekend. Although, I have to say that I do have a bone to pick with this city. I'll get there in a bit.

We got in Friday, got to the hostel after a long train ride and eventually explored the city centre that evening before going to watch The Men Who Stare at Goats at the cinema. It was an excellent movie, one of the highlights of the weekend. Saturday we saw Cardiff's castle and then the bay and some fireworks that evening after the Brazil vs England football match. Sunday we went to the Welsh cultural museum which was fun, but transportation was an issue...

Here is the bone I have to pick with the city of Cardiff: the bus system was quite disappointing. We spent a lot of time waiting for buses over the weekend so I was kinda annoyed at that, but that would have been fine, no biggie. But today (Sunday) as we were trying to get back from the museum to the train station the bus simply did not come. The schedule said it should come, the museum said it should come, the travel info guy I called said it should come, it did not. We waited over an hour for the bus and then we ended up having to call a cab to get to the station on time. That's what kicked off a session of frenzied "Serenity Now!" cries in my head. Buses in Cardiff are like leftovers at Rosie O'Donnell's house, either extremely infrequent or nowhere to be found. Buses were harder to come by than a Whopper at McDonald's and we definitely were not having it our way with the bus system. And another thing about Cardiff's sub-par buses was that it was super hard to find your stop unless you were from there: no readerboards, no kind, soothing voice announcing the next stop, no well placed signage, nothing! Wales public transport was lacking. I won't say anymore now. On to the shame...

I spilled a full coffee on myself at Starbucks which really sucked. I had to walk around with a big stain on my inner thigh. I could feel people thinking to themselves, "That looks like urine, I think that guy peed himself! What useless menace to society...flaunting accepted societal norms! There's nothing worse than a public urinator!" It was also really windy so the damp denim wasn't very comfortable, but that wasn't the problem, the shame was...

Well, that's Cardiff for you, from one weekend there. I'll bet it's nice in the summer, it was rainy and windy most of our time there but I imagine it looks really nice in summertime. I've included some pictures. One of which I must explain I was a reluctant participant in. Katie and Jordan peer pressured me into putting on a dress circa 1900s from the dress up box at the Welsh museum. I don't know how the seams survived that ordeal to be honest. I'll let the pictures tell the rest of the story. So, if ya don't know, now ya know...

Trivial Pursuits

I'm procrastinating a bit right now, so I figured I would just blather on about a random observance of meaningless drivel I've noticed.

I've been going to the fitness centre here on campus, not because I want to make good use of the 95 pound fee I had to pay for full membership status, but mainly because I don't want to end up looking like John Goodman, John Candy, or George Wendt (Norm from Cheers). It's interesting because I have noticed that the proportion of the population over here that is obese seems to be much smaller than back home. However, that being said we Americans, based on my "infallible" statistical inferences; seem to win in the humongous dudes at the gym category. Simply put, I haven't seen any overgrown monsters, meatheads, or big dumb animals. Of course, I haven't associated with the rugby team, but overall I get the impression that the English aren't as into "getting huge" or "yoked" as many Americans. The English are more into burning off the calories from the pub the night before, and being pale, slender anglicans who listen to club music.

If ya don't know, now ya know...

Photos of Edinburgh

"Away tae Edinburgh Lad"

Edinburgh, Scotland. What a place! Definitely my favorite city so far. I think there is something that literally seeps out of the soil in Scotland that makes it different. The Scots definitely don't refer to themselves as British, they are Scottish first and foremost. I think one of the things that has struck me the most about the UK so far is that it really is more culturally divided than I expected. I actually like it I think, because it's more interesting this way and a little rivalry never hurts.

Anyway as far as Edinburgh goes, awesome, I'll just give a quick rundown of places we saw and what we did and how the weekend played out. Friday: Arrived, free walking tour of the city, 3 hours long, best value of anything we did. I learned the origin of the phrase "shitfaced" as well as the tale of the "Stone of Destiny". Scottish Heritage Whisky Tour, interesting, not real long, but fun and we got to sample whisky and keep the glass! Ate dinner at a chippy and then found a crowded, hole in the wall, dive bar that was really cheap and had some drinks before retiring to the hostel to play some golf before bed.

Saturday: Edinburgh Castle, excellent, great views, very interesting, saw the Scottish Crown Jewels and the "Stone of Destiny". Coolest castle I've seen so far. Found a pub that was showing the "Hibs" vs. "Hearts" football game and had some lunch. Got to hear comments like, "stick a foo' in 'is arse!" After the game we walked around the new town portion of Edinburgh before going to a park and then the Scottish Parliament building which has an interesting architectural design. Bought a couple t-shirts at a souvenir shop which are everywhere and sell the exact same merchandise. You walk into every one and hear bagpipes and then an Indian guy says "Halloo would you like to buy a kilt?". After purchasing our merchandise we played some golf at the hostel and then went our for some deep fried haggis which was delicious, and I chased that with a deep fried Mars bar. Then we went back to our favorite watering hole for some more 2 quid pints.

Sunday: Scottish National Gallery, basically another art gallery except this had some portraits with men in kilts. The Scottish Modern Art Gallery, interesting, but I have to question the validity and skill required for 50% of the exhibits contained therein. I could pull of half that crap. Scottish National Museum, very nice, we only saw a small portion but it was interesting and well put together and the top of the museum had a nice viewing area which was good for pictures.

What I think about Edinburgh: They will fry anything here. Pizza, hamburgers, candy bars, pies, probably the only thing they would object to putting in a fryer is their cherished Scotch whisky. The Royal Mile is really great, tons of little side courtyards and alleyways. The walking tour was good, saw where JK Rowling wrote a lot of Harry P, I have to say she borrowed a lot from the city as far as names of characters go. Even the land around Edinburgh is beautiful, I can only imagine what the Highlands are like. The people are this country's greatest resource. Friendly, outgoing, and hard to understand! Basically a lot of the time when talking to people if you didn't know better you might think they were drunk because they slur their words together and don't enunciate much. And when they have had a few drinks,"fuhgedda about it!" I really like the accent though, you just have to listen hard and concentrate when talking to people. Here's a tase, "Ah wis joost abou' tae gae an' gra' another drin' mae, a yoo want wen tae? Mine da gap der a'fore ya gae an trip yersel' gaein' dane fra' da train" It's a good thing I read the book "Trainspotting" before I came because it sometimes sounds like people are speaking another language here.

On a totally unrelated sidenote, I shaved my tache when I got back tonight. I just decided I felt too old with that stiff bristled broom on my upper lip. I'm going to go without a soup strainer for awhile, at least until I join law enforcement, at which point, it will of course become mandatory to have along with the badge...Anyway I hope this was interesting, if ya don't know, now ya know...